The Beast Debut
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The Beast Debut
by Krash Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:02 pm
Remember the Name - Fort Minor blasts throughout the arena.
A mysterious figure sprints down the ramp into the ring with very much excitement.
The anonymous figure asks for a microphone.
Joel:(Sniffs the air suspiciously) Hmm is that fresh air I smell because I think I have just entered ECW!!!!!!
Joel:My name is Joel LaMonica but you guys may call me The Beast.
Joel:I'm a new addition to this federation and I am ready to earn something that can be mine.
Joel:And that is...A title shot, but all do respect I will have to earn my spot like everybody else in this company.
Joel:If I am scheduled for a match tonight I will see you guys later but if I don't then I will see you next week.
Joel:Thank you everybody and goodnight.
Joel LaMonica walks backstage and what a debut from a young superstar.
A mysterious figure sprints down the ramp into the ring with very much excitement.
The anonymous figure asks for a microphone.
Joel:(Sniffs the air suspiciously) Hmm is that fresh air I smell because I think I have just entered ECW!!!!!!
Joel:My name is Joel LaMonica but you guys may call me The Beast.
Joel:I'm a new addition to this federation and I am ready to earn something that can be mine.
Joel:And that is...A title shot, but all do respect I will have to earn my spot like everybody else in this company.
Joel:If I am scheduled for a match tonight I will see you guys later but if I don't then I will see you next week.
Joel:Thank you everybody and goodnight.
Joel LaMonica walks backstage and what a debut from a young superstar.
Krash- Jobber
- Posts : 34
Points : 4756
Join date : 2011-07-19
Age : 24
Re: The Beast Debut
by "Dangerous" Justin Payne Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:35 am
Not bad, man. But, as a suggestion for the future, try adding actions in between the paragraphs/dialogue so then the helps the reader get a more clear image into your mind. And use description as to what the character looks like, and try using some crowd involvement, but make it seem very realistic, as for a crowd wouldn't really know or care for who's new in the business and they'd like to see them prove themselves and stuff.
Also, the formatting should go like this.
Action.
-
Wrestler 1: "I hate you."
-
Action.
-
Wrestler 2: "Let's fight."
-
Action.
The hyphens are supposed to be black, so then we can space everything out.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed the RP.
Added to the Show.
Also, the formatting should go like this.
Action.
-
Wrestler 1: "I hate you."
-
Action.
-
Wrestler 2: "Let's fight."
-
Action.
The hyphens are supposed to be black, so then we can space everything out.
Nonetheless, I enjoyed the RP.
Added to the Show.
"Dangerous" Justin Payne- ASM Moderator
- Posts : 31
Points : 4762
Join date : 2011-07-02
Age : 29
Location : Ohio
Krash- Jobber
- Posts : 34
Points : 4756
Join date : 2011-07-19
Age : 24
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